the day the night

it's a hostile takeover
day fights night
night attempts to extinguish light
a dark canopy
stretching for eternity
or maybe
day's ecstatic to switch shifts
and night's disgruntled
as it blows out the last embers
wary of the pastel colours
or it's
the lords of the night
not willing to relinquish
confiscated territory
however the stars are involved in this mutiny
piece by piece
the sun robs the moon
the moon flees west
then again
it's a slow dance
between old lovers
day holds night in a sweet caress
a sensual embrace
they blend together
painting skies masterpieces
dawn, dusk
daydown, nightfall

it...

since this event
i aint been the same
war torn
it left me changed
a scar remains
visible to who
i reveal it to
psychological wound
entombed
embalmed
bring the fluid
i'm mummified
overly medicating
process of preservation
persevere through perspiration

vex like you just stepped
on my boxfresh creps
now i'm more careful
i've already endured an earful
i'm tearful
behaviour awful
speech borderline unlawful
forces are causal
wrote the manual
bars flow so casual
this a token of my esteem
no pipe dreams
aim for the moon miss and land in galaxies
life's an obscene meme
comprised of schemes



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steadfast adherence

consistency is key

no making excuses

starting and stopping

commitment to fitness

nutrition decisions

in competition

with none but self

aim for gains

periodic goals

regimen unfolds

disciplines lack 

plan and attack

restart and reboot

vitamins and supplements

cardio and weights

push plates

walk floors

want more time to train

success and failure

what, if's and maybes

looking back at the past 

saying i should've continued

knowing what to do

but struggling with execution

be harsh with yourself

no excuses

self retribution

knowledge of self

plan to be a better me

daily philosophy

the stresses and pressures

internal lessons


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ambiguity

the ambiguity of identity
it sincerely escapes me
british born domitician
Dominican Kittician
creole patois
cashicrou kittician
with londinium in him
a fusion
heritage caribbean
earth, i'm hue-man
all colours from me
none made me
don't boast about my islands
they're only a boat stops difference

my masculinity
framed in fragility
strength's a fallacy
weakness is my modus operandi
vulnerabilities idiosyncrasies
cultural complexities
what society expects from me
frowning on my sensitivity
don't judge me on my biology
but wait...what do i expect from me


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mastery

a twisted irony
cruel twist of fate grates me
dreams?!
are they really
wish fulfilment
freudian theory
look deep
see life's fury
battered and bruised
on the road to glory
still finding
mastery eluding me
made my mind up
to no longer pursue
let mastery find me 
now i'm elusive
eluding mastery
has made me master.

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if you see god, kill him

figuratively, nah literally kill god
traditions, churches, mosques and temples bomb them
religious books amalgamate them
pastors, priests, imams, monks splice them
your thoughts, notions, concepts destroy them
delusional illusions

the title drew you
the content threw you
taught and schooled you
bars momentum swayed you
question everything
believe no thing nothing

if you see god kill him

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unapologetic

the pressures too intense for me
burning me internally
feeling like eternity
the struggles killing me
getting crushed
trying to find the meaning
if everything happens for a reason
what's the reason for this season
have i created this rod for my own back perhaps
feel like the planets closing in on me
realise pressure create diamonds
life's under a dish petrie
social engineer me
endangered species
they're trying to annihilate me
remove me permanently
by any means necessary
some days i struggle to eat
from the things that I see
my mind can't believe my eyes
we're brutalised, stereotyped and scapegoated
the community's in a state of emergency
walk around vex for letting stress get to me
writings what releases me
i digress
marching's played out
we need economic solutions
repatriation
keep the black pound
like other communities keep their money
we circulate our money
make it exchange a number of black hands before we give it over
we wake up targets therefore
let us enjoy each moment
tomorrow's not a given
whether we're in AmeriKKKa or it's mother country
i stand up proud with my black fist raised unapologetically melinated.

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pusherman

big up to curtis mayfield for this one...

im your mama 

im your daddy 

im that brother 

in the alley

im your doctor 

when in need

want some bars 

have a read

you know me 

im your friend

your main boy 

thick and thin

im your pusherman

dehpon corners looking clean

supercool wordmachine

demand and supply

yes indeed im that guy

notepads and pens

baddest wordplay 

ask your friend

got things on your mind

have a read take some time

let you trip for a while

meditate vegitate enlivens your mindstate

8 bars please? take 16 

become what 
you want to be

im your pusherman

peddle parables and proverbs

adjectives and adverbs

intoxicating minds with words

i've created fiends

for my metaphors and similes

an innocuous dependency

on corners and allies shot that 

high grade vocabulary

be careful how you toke me

inhale me slowly

use me recreationally

bars have you pulling a whitey

expensive export

shit opens your chakras

push words their valuable

im your pusherman

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candid

me at my most poignant

yep i've made grave errors

to give night terrors

looking at the man in the mirror

shaking my head

wanting my bed

forced myself out

can't let depression tek me

depression incapacitates

and stress kills

both make my will ill

make me uneased dis-eased

flying through the stages of grief

feeling fragile

gone through a blender

heart colder than december

nah hotter than the peak of summer

life's reading like a shakespearean tragedy

trouble knows me

travel the cosmos

through my headphones a spliff and a good book

now that's a good look

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nameless space

i have put this into sections. what i've observed, what i've experienced and what i think we/i need to do with the "nameless space" the sections are down to your interpretation

nameless space

can't name it

if you attempt to name it, 

it ceases to be it

we attempt to use things to fill it

only to receive temporary relief which leads to more grief

aim to numb pain self-medicating ways 

my mind strays, my mind sprays

touch base with endless waves

it's cold cain

numbed like cocaine

cause pain

existential angst

meaning 

meaninglessness

fearfully fearless

bottomless abyss

can't be filled with trinkets

do our utmost to avoid it

jab cross slip it

still can't elude it

can be forgotten its elusive 

far from exclusive

we all feel it

will, meaning and purpose fulfil it?

that's the million quid question

it causes internal conflict

do best to be aware of it

accept it

embrace it

befriend it

integrate and assimilate it

go into it and allow yourself to feel it

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introspection

the noisiness of silence

causes internal violence

stuck in my own thoughts

a terrifying place filled with landmines

nah a beautiful place 

similar to paradise

nah an afro filled with headlice

a mind riddled with vermin

an intelligent cretin

aiding and abetting

journeying through crevices

battle self arch-nemesis

befriend myself make me my ally

bear witness to my alibi

don't follow the dichotomy

i'm whole holistically me

experience the subterranean depths

from the council estate of mind to the buddha mindstate

pessimistically optimystic

nah a realist

with surrealist thoughts

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86,400

i watched a short video about having 86,400 deposited in our account everyday which we spend, whether we have invested it or not it's gone never to return. everyday we have 86,400 seconds how do we spend them, off the back of that i wrote this....

i'm invested in every morning with 86,400

which i spend daily

sometimes spent well quickly

and i gain returns other times

i've spent it frivolously flippantly

at times it drags

when i'm somewhere i don't wanna be

sometimes 86,400 aint enough for me

so i try and rob into tomorrows fees

only to realise i haven't robbed

i've made space

with the day's pace

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freefall

coffee shop writer
never a biter 
freedom fighter
hot flames lighter
sniper your in my sight
insighter
made more awarer
set my own fashion
fashionista
trend-setter
trend-setter
trend-setter
you're just a bedwetter
i'm just a blogmonster
bar writer..........
..........................
take note of my pauses
cerebral causes
lose thought of course its
a true emcee
leave me empty
buddhist thoughts
contemporary stalwarts
hidden in my cohort
wrote without thought
free from editing
censoring, pruning
my thought process
you find confusing

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mute

dont say things anymore

overlooked misunderstood

misheard not heard

fobbed off taken for puppy show

silence is golden

wont break it through speaking

talk too much anyway

is the critique i receive

so now use writing

let emotions blaze 

through a page

dont ask me to speak

we wont agree and thats peak

for you and me

have become a selective mute

only speak in certain circles

where dont have to watch my words

rehearse life's show

a theatre act so act well and choose the right script

the wrong writer will have you doing flips

spinning out 

wondering whats it about

speak mean write wit clout

drinking a dragon stout

yes im vulnerable

not untouchable omnipotent or omniscient

even though i see things

dont say things through words

let the ink speak




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a bLack mAn tHing

story behind this, in a meeting i was informed that i have a 'Black Man 'Thing'' when i asked her to clarify what this 'Black Man Thing' is she struggled making vague references to Black Men in her life. Every interaction is a writing opportunity...

what exactly is 
a Black Man Thing
is it any different from a
white, asian, latino man thing
any different from a Black Woman Thing
please clarify what this Black Man Thing is
a chip on my shoulder
walk with a certain swagger
talk with a certain linga
touch fists dont shake hands
oh i see its the nuances
the isms
my professionalism called into question
oh i get it i dont show enough teeth
acceptable nigger syndrome
if i was a white chick presenting the same shit
what would you call it
im so pissed
no not defensive
enraged with rage blazing
hotter than the sun in me
about to combust internally
oh...i see thats that Black Man Thing....




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systematic misinstruction

the travesty of educational philosophy
when kids are valued monetary
4g you tell me 
is each students worth
putting a price on kids heads
is that what schools about?
struggle empathically with
such a materialistic philosophy
from the core flawed fundamentally
detrimentally
then we raise kids who aren't
independent free thinkers or even think at all
dependent servants
public schools feed the machine
creates new age slaves
not taught to think
but to remember
whats the true role of an educator
to make kids intelligent regurgitators
higher education now becomes a class act
cos the proletariats cant access that

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resolutions

no resolutions
resolutions are not solutions
made in haste then broken
aint setting no targets
none of that 
new year new me ish
no positive affirmations
i will however have great expectations
no promises unrealistic
keep things basic
read more watch less
listen more talk less

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what is without hindrance or restraint

a state of mind
or a state of being
on the outside imprisoned
found in gym prayer meditation
is it obtained earned gained
are all these answers or questions?!


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manic creative

requeim for a dream
let it freefall like freeflow
sometimes quick sometimes slow
words glow
illuminate pathways
unblock ya earways
get maximum earplay
other brers get aired
wait...
they're too slovenly
angelic bars
devilishly heavenly
paradoxical theory of change
makes a godly devil
a paradox in terms
an oxymoron
study my craft like a sage
so i speak with wisdom of ages
wisdom's contagious
when released from pages
enlightened ignoramus
so my bars remain blameless

words provoke thought
evoke emotions
intoxicating potion
ink on paper
words on a monitor
mesmerises minds
a wordsmith
catch my wordplay
speak in pretext
touch ya prefrontal cortex
bars are cerebral
write my ponderings
have peeps feenin
catching feelings
writings so revealing
yet so concealing
so cathartic
burns through shit
poetic acid



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just a thought phlogging once again

in a coffee shop and this came to mind so here it is

we rush through youth
wishing to be older
only to get there and
wish to be younger.....